Adventures of a Wandering Princess

A typical day for me at Tashirat

2010-03-24T16:41:00.000-07:00

At 6:30 I arise and stroll up to a bungalow to do yoga with the sunrise.

Following yoga I enjoy a delicious breakfast. These days it tends to be some kind of green soup or salad. Delicious!

Around 9am I stroll into the school Kitchen to help Louis prepare lunch.

With the help of some of the boys we carry it down to the school.

Depending on the meal I either help serve lunch...

..or help Martha in the store, filling honey jars,

sweeping,

or organizing the supplies.

I return to help clean up the school lunch, and of course eat some as well!

After some happy bellies, Ya-Yin and I clean all the dishes.

At 1:00pm we head over to the communal kitchen and make green juice for the staff.

She juices.

I sieve. Nobody likes chunky green juice.

Then it´s break time!

When I get to drink my green juice!

I return to work for one more hour, doing various tasks. And then at 4 I am done. I have a snack. A delicious, juicy snack...

And then it is time for meditation. I meditate in this bungalow for one hour. I usually last in this stellar position for about twenty minutes before my knees whine and I lay down.

In the evening we cook dinner.

I study for a couple hours, usually nutrition info.

Then, when it is too dark to take pictures, we eat dinner together.

This has been my typical day for the last few weeks. However, all that is going to change in two days. The students go on a two week holiday, and we are down to only five volunteers. So, I will be working in the communal kitchen for most of the day. Other volunteers will be collecting compost, moving trash and recycling, as well as poop buckets. Unfortunately, Abby hurt her back doing compost and is off wheelbarrow duty. Luckily she likes being in the kitchen.

From Chicago to Tashirat

2010-01-31T14:15:00.000-08:00

Andrea and I left Michigan on Christmas morning, took a 33 hour train ride from Chicago to San Antonio, TX. While on the train we were woken up at 2am to get off the train at 4am to take a bus around a bridge that was 18ft under water to then get on a different train.

Thanks a lot Arkansas!

We arrived in Texas just fine and when we called our Couchsurfing host we received a background of loud music and the information that she was actually in Las Vegas. So sorry! Luckily we used the internet at the nearby Denny´s along with the beauty of cs groups and found there was a get together at the bar, we called the number on the event and found ourselves some free drinks and a floor to crash on. One of the guys even gave us a farewell present of jerky, socks, a journal, and water. Sweet.

After a few buses we found ourselves in Mexico City at Andrea´s boyfriend Omar´s parent house. Yay!

We ate really well.

Our crew consisted of myself (I'm the one on the left), Julien (Andrea & Omar worked with him in Canada), Omar (Andrea's boyfriend), and, of course, Andrea

On New Years Eve Day we took a day hike to a nearby forest.

But first we stopped for Pulque (fermented agave), I am actually drinking a Liter of orange juice to fight my cold, but everyone else is starting their celebration of the New Year.

After midnight I decided to try drinking Tequila to break my sickness. It worked! And we danced the night away in the living room with the whole family.

Below: Andrea, Uncle Jon, Julien, and Mom. I imagine it is 3am.

This is Dad holding one of the annoying Dogs that lived in the yard. Everytime I tried to exit the house they would bark at me until I went back inside. I was told if I built a relationship with them it would be better, I found it easier to stay inside. Fucking dogs.

We stayed in Mexico City for a week. While there we took some day trips. This one was to a park in the city with a small Pyramid and some cool cactus.

We also visited the Ice Cream shop because that's what you do in Mexico in January :)

After a week in the city we were ready to head on our way, so we headed to Omar's Aunt's house in the country.

However, Aunt Julie wasn't there, so we took more day trips! Our first one was to a nearby caves, Grutas of "Cacahuamilpa."

The cave was amazing. Unfortunately, the only light parts of it as you walk through with a guide and they tell you to save picture taking until the end...after the guide is gone and you can't see it anymore. Also, the guide is an extraordinarily dramatic individual who never smiles and tells horrible jokes...and it's all in spanish, obviously. But it was still beautiful.

The town where Omar's Aunt Julie's house is is called Puente De Ixtla. A small town with a street that goes through it. We ventured there daily to buy vegetables and fresh tortillas on the street, as well as beer and the occasional taco. mmm..tacos. Unfortunately, the only picture we got was of Julien talking to a parrot.

We stayed in Julie's porch/yard for three days before she arrived. But it was a nice area, right on the (dirty) river, with lime trees, and sunshine.

This was a typical breakfast for us: tomatoes, onion, avacado, chiles, cheese, tortillas, and bananas. Yum. We spent a good amount of time simply playing cribbage and relaxing.

We didn't go out too much, but we did have one fun night of watching the sunset on the lake,

drinking and dancing the night away,

and watching the sun come up in an intoxicating stupor.

Below is a picture of the city of Taxco, one of the oldest mining sites, is known for it's silver and unlike most Mexican towns almost everything is white, even the taxis!

This is Aunt Julie, she has a ton of energy, and only speaks spanish. She's great.

After a week at Julie´s Andrea and Omar went back to the city and Julien and I stayed to work on our spanish, explore more countryside, and get a break from the love birds. However, Andrea left with her camera so I have no pictures of the following week. It did include some beautiful Pyramids in the mountains above the city, a trip to Cuernavaca, Ojo´s de Agua (water near the river that bubbled, looking like eyes), and lastly a trip to the Ocean!

So, now I am at Tashirat. Tashirat is basically an Ashram that has an Orphanage and a school for a nearby town that is inpoverished. I arrived on the 19th of January and plan to be here volunteering for at least a couple months. The picture below is the view from our Volunteer Headquarters. We see the sunset every night and wake up to the sunrise in the morning.

Strangely enough there is also a pool, however, it is pretty cold, and very dirty. I have not yet had the experience of jumping in.

Compost bathroom!

The house/room I sleep in is basically big enough for four beds.

On our day off and sometimes in the evenings we take the bus into town. It's a 15 minute bus ride for 6 pesos. Did I mention the weather is perfect almost every day...

For food we put an order in every week and buy enough for all the volunteers, there are 12 of us right now and we come from all over: Sweden, Belgium, Uraguay, Mexico, Canada, Japan, Scotland, Australia..

This is our kitchen. We cook family style meals every evening for dinner. A lot of veggies, beans, and rice. For breakfast we eat fresh papaya, bananas, mangos, with dry oats, amaranth, nuts, raisins, and yogurt. mmmm!

I still drink coffee every morning. shhh!

The volunteer activities range depending on skill and need. School kitchen, garden, watching kids, and painting are the most common. However, random ones get thrown in all the time. Last week Andrea and I spent the first part of every day doing laundry. We washed mosquito nets, stuffed animals, rugs and sheets by hand. Nothing like dipping your hands in bleach water for two hours!

Below is a picture of the local ice cream place with so many amazing flavors!

So far my experience here has been really great. Yoga and meditation in the morning, volunteering for about five hours a day, more meditation in the evening, and huge dinners with our volunteer family.

If you'd like to see the rest of my pictures go to http://picasaweb.google.com/abby.kinas/Mexico2010#

I'm 26, eek!

2009-03-04T16:30:00.000-08:00

My birthday was kick ass this year, completely unexpected, completely fantastic. It started with eggs, corn tortillas and avocado. So very delicious. Close to follow was a Pap smear, not really my idea of a bday treat but I like to live on the edge. Work was swell - I walked in to a hot cup of starbucks coffee sitting on my desk and immediately jumped for joy. My bosses also got me a box of yoga supplies and made me feel really appreciated. My co-worker, Anne, took me out to lunch at Baja Fresh for some superb fish tacos.

I kept trying to work but it seemed set up for impossibility, and everyone was in on it! Around 2pm my co-worker and friend, Miguel, tried to get me out of my office, but I wouldn't have it. So he came in to mess with me, pushing me into a corner, beating me up as any big army guy could do with out actually inflicting pain and as I looked up from my attack, Annie is standing there. My sweet, wonderful, lying roommate. She had told me her flight wasn't getting in until the evening, but all the while she was coming to kidnap me! And everyone was in on it! My coworkers, my bosses, it was some weird make sure Abby has an awesome bday conspiracy! And it just happened to be 70 degrees and sunny, haha! So we went for ice cream and a walk in the park, my first American summer bday!

After working a little more I went to yoga, and the birthday gods were on my side. i did my very first successful yoga handstand, my head stand was better, and so was my shoulder stand. It was a fantastic, successful, encouraging practice , and it felt great. After practice Margaret told me to go home, and knowing her as I do I knew not to question her, I simply said yes ma'am. We had talked about going out for dinner, maybe with my roommates, so I figured I'd arrive home to maybe 4-5 people max.

As I pulled up, my roommate Dan came out to give me a hug and help me carry some stuff in and he wouldn't stop talking about these new seeds he had bought and how excited he was to show them to me. he even dropped my bags in the living room, which is very unlike his "organized" (sometimes anal) way of living. It was also mysteriously quiet, so I followed him into the Den saying, "so, is this where everyone jumps out and yells surprise." And that's exactly what happened! Only, I didn't expect so many people! So I screamed like a little girl, jumped up, and ran. It was awesome.

I've always been huge into birthdays. maybe it was always wearing a tiara, or the date being around friedenswald, or my parents treating me like a princess. But this year i just didn't have the energy to plan it, plus I thought last years bday of being on the ocean in Nicaragua, with a family more generous and loving one could ever imagine, eating fried chicken, plantains, rice and beans, and ice cream...I didn't think celebration was necessary for a few more years. But I had a terrific Bday.

We went out to a delicious restaurant, ate pizza and drank Sangria and it felt so great to know that I had friends, that I had touched lives and even more so that I had been touched. That people cared about me enough to make it happen. The last year started in Nicaragua, it was amazing, and as it moved it involved my constant transition into Boise, ID - the people I have met, the job I've had, the kids lives i have impacted. It wasn't always easy, and it wasn't always fun, but where I am now, with the people in my life and the community we share, well, it's pretty fuckin awesome.

As I sit on the train to Michigan, I feel very privileged and excited to share more memories with my family here, and to feel even more love and to share love. And I am excited at the endless possibilities this next year will bring.

Mamba

2008-10-30T21:52:00.000-07:00

My Mom came to visit. She left yesterday. Les Boi, Boise, the city where the sun just keeps on shining. It was so unbelievably nice to be in her presence. Yes, being fed was great. And yes, when my car decided to die as soon as she arrived it was quite convenient to rent a car. But, I could have starved and walked miles and still I would be so extremely appreciative of her presence and love.

The highlight was McCall. A three hour drive so beautiful it feels like twenty minutes. We stayed at a gorgeous lodge that looked like it should cost three times as much. We drove through the national forest. But mostly, we sat and looked at the lake, drinking tequila, and feeling like the princesses we really are. (and I beat her in pool numerous times)

The rest of the time was spent sleeping in. For the first time in months I actually remembered my dreams. And boy were they crazy! We drank coffee, ate banana bread and chocolate squares, and never left the house before eleven. We wandered, and ate, and wandered, and drank, and then ate again. We sang songs and went shopping. We cried. And laughed. And sang again.

I miss her already.

It was an adventure. One that will help me get by while simultaneously making me homesick. The purpose was to help me last until march, but after the first day I knew it would be harder than I thought. So, alone I sit once again. But now with renewed love in my heart, and chocolate squares in my tummy :)

Rocks

2008-05-31T22:58:00.000-07:00

We spent the morning looking at some fuckin' cool rocks. Some might call them mountains and hills, but I like "Rocks." Painted Hills, it's called, not to be confused w/ Painted Rocks or Pictured Rocks, although I never can remember which is in MI.

We stared at all the colors as Martin did his best to explain the Geology, the History behind it. But it's simple really, I am hopeless. Where he sees minerals and weathering and time, changes and beauty within, I see a rough, pretty stone. There is too much I don't know and so my brain shuts off, as usual. And this is fine, because I am completely content to sit and ponder, to take in my surroundings, to smile at his passion, and take every moments fresh breath. And that is what we do all day, enjoy company, rocks, and beauty through random dirt roads that lead to nowhere, or somewhere, or everywhere.

Ranch arrival

2008-05-30T21:11:00.000-07:00

Within an hour civilization is gone, young men pump my gas for me, and I am mystified by the surroundings. And as the four hours quickly pass I continuously witness change. The rocks grow until they are towering over me, the trees go from boise's deciduous, to rare desert shrubbery, to forests of Pines, and the occasional mountain village makes me grin at their stares of the out of placed short haired girl. I arrive two hours early. My destination: An RV on a small Ranch in central Oregon. Wow. I exit my car to Donny, a middle aged Ranch hand, who smiles continuously, chuckles warmly, invites me to a BBQ, and informs me that my host is out buying non-red meat grub.

And then time stops.

The wind continues to blow through the trees, the clouds change to a deep purple, but it is as if two hands have reached down, pushed upon my shoulders to make me sit and told me to just stop. And it felt right, God it felt so right out there. So beautiful and full of life and calm and perfect. We spent the evening sharing stories, laughs, knowledge, and tea in the RV.

Split beauty

2008-05-27T22:00:00.000-07:00

I spent the afternoon at Kleinstuck preserve, thinking over my trip, happy, so, so, happy at the time spent in Michigan. I took in deep breaths, listened to the wind through the trees, and even hugged some just to show my appreciation. Now as I sit in this plane I am sincerely excited at my return. I don't really have much to return to, but I have plenty. I cannot even begin to express how fortunate I am and how fortunate this last year has been.

Trees.

2008-05-26T19:00:00.000-07:00

"Man, I love the smell of Michigan." "Thanks for reminding me."

We take on the Paw Paw river one stroke at a time. Wrestling branches, going over, under, and around trees, being sucked alive by skeeters, but always with a smile on my face. I make Joey, his expertise, long, thin boat, and muscular self take the lead. I try my best and he is impressed by my giggles and consistant smile through all my struggles. This is just what I need. I look around, smell the air, and feel completely content. I wanted to see trees and water on this trip and Joey made it happen. His presence is absolutely appreciated, and I find myself wondering why this is the first time we've spent enjoying each others company. Strangely enough this entire trip has been full of that... seeing people I normally would not have.

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My emotions are in a whirl. I feel tied down, stuck, lonely. But these emotions only surface when I'm away. Overwhelmed by seeing people and then leaving, when that's all I've done for the last 7 months. Maybe the difference now is I'm no longer on the move. I'm tired and worn, full of positive energy and tears, confused and worried I've chosen the wrong path, but too tired and broke to run. Friday in a drunken state I found myself crying, wanting to go home, to Boise, that was my safe haven. So maybe it's the excitement of Michigan that confuses me. Or maybe it's wanting what is just out of reach.

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It's the wind through the trees, the smell of moisture, green everywhere surrounded by water everywhere. It's a connection to my roots that will forever be a part of me. But now I must reach my branches, share my leaves.

United beauty

2008-05-24T14:29:00.000-07:00

She was absolutely elegant as she walked down the aisle.

The last few days have been pretty intense and very rewarding. The bachelorette party with calm sushi chatting, karaoke dancing, fire sitting drunkenness. The rehearsal day with manicured perfection, rehearsal, dinner, tears, exhaustion. And the final product. I never imagined I would take such a vital role in someones special day. It was all very intense and flew by. She shed many tears. But in the end it was all smiles. Looking back at it I am filled with emotion: at their happiness- yes. But also at the beautiful friendship that has developed over the last 25 years. To know I can be there for her and stand by her side on her special day.

It was so nice to see Mike, as always, so great to dance with him. And to see Caitlin even in her drunken state. It was great to dance and smile among strangers with a simple common understanding of the love we all shared for two beautiful people. It was fun to get ready, to help her get ready. And to walk down the aisle with the same annoying little kid I grew up with and married at 6 years old, to be arm and arm with him now in our "grown up" state, and appreciate the fact that every single one of us in that same childhood group has grown into a beautiful unique human being.

Boise Pics

2008-05-18T20:23:00.000-07:00

Boise

Boise (pronounced boy-see, not boy-zee)

2008-05-18T12:04:00.000-07:00

Emotions whirling, stagnance sets in. The change of being here feels good, the comfort of coming home to a home at night is appreciated, but my insides are confused at the traveling halt. I read Andrea's blog and tears stream, everything that she appreciates of her present culture is everything that I so dearly miss: the simplicity, happiness through interaction, enjoying the small things that are in fact tremendously huge. And yet I know I simply need to find it within myself.

My life here is excellent. I love my job, although there is still much to learn. My boss is absolutely wonderful, always smiling, always helpful. My roommates kick ass. And I'm slowly but surely making friends. However, I do not take enough time for myself. To sit and simply be... that is what I crave, and it is where my priority should lie.

In a few days I head home. For some reason this idea freaks me out more than I would desire. I am excited to see my family, my friends, Marg get married. But worried that I will question my move, or maybe most of all, it will reinforce the fact that I really just want to be in Mexico. However, I look forward to finally having an answer to the "so what are you doing with your life" question. And I know that I am happy here, although i still seem to be searching for my place.

Lately we've had numerous couch surfers stay with us. The beauty these interactions has brought into my life is immense. It is extraordinarily mind opening, exciting, congenial, and sometimes sad. We have so many coming through that I feel myself making lots of "temporary" friends. I know they are in no way temporary since they have touched my life and will continue to encompass it forever, but i become close with them, they leave, and I am once again reminded of my lack of close connections here in Boise.

I crave for a connection, any connection (preferably one that sticks around). To look into someones eyes and possess a basis of understanding. To be in someones presence without the need to speak, to simply be. To understand someone well enough that needs aren't discussed, they are just taken care of. Am i talking sexual? No. Although I wouldn't mind that as well. I'm talking friendship. And for now it is nice to focus on being that person for myself.

On and then on again

2008-03-19T21:21:00.000-07:00

Well I made it home safe. But there are more adventures to come as I head to Idaho this weekend. A little different from Nicaragua...

Until then, check out my pictures from Nicaragua here:

Nicaragua

Leon

2008-03-15T22:24:00.000-07:00

We've been in Leon since last sunday. I suppose after being robbed we just decided it was time to stop traveling. After our first night of realizing our missing pieces and being too tired to explore the city, we did end up finding a better hostel. So we've been at "Lazy Bones" since Monday, and it feels like a gated resort/community. For only $6/night we enjoy a pool, free internet, a pool table, free coffee, lovely beds, and absolutely no guests (keeps it quiet and makes us feel special when the the desk people come and tell us we have a visitor). It's very nice.

Monday and Tuesday were spent doing bullshit passport bullshit. I'll keep this short as it brings up a bit of tenseness inside of me... We spent at least 3 hours at the police department filing a police report with an officer who came up to us 3 times asking us if we wanted to file a report. What? Meanwhile, he kept returning to his air conditioned office while leaving us outside in the sweltering heat. He eventually did allow us to come in to the office to file our report, he sat in a plastic coca cola chair, as did we, and typed on a typewriter. I think I probably sat there giving him an angry annoyed stare for at least an hour. Luckily my translater was somewhat friendlier.

The rest of the week was mostly spent in the hostel, and out on the streets when we got hungry. Andrea found an awesome job and spent hours upon hours working on a rediculous application. So I basically hung out by the pool for three days. One of those days was spent having a pool volleyball competition within the hostel, they called it an invitational, but it was more a begg-atational. They pleaded enough and so we participated. We also met some sweet people
via couchsurfing and had some enjoyable nights drinking, dancing, drinking. And today we even went to see the ocean one last time. It's was salty, wavey, and lovely. Although it did come with a very hot sun, and not quite enough shade. But I am in no way complaining.

Observing Nicaragua

2008-03-15T22:13:00.000-07:00

Nicaragua is hot!
There are lots of rocking chairs and playgrounds, therefore, I believe the appreciate the elderly and childish (that's basically everyone).
Everyone is soooo happy and friendly :)
Food: Beans and rice, bananas in any form, cheese (preferably fried), litros of beer, Quesillo, cookie sundaes, rum, fried chicken
It's absolutely beautiful and cheap.
Belly's!
Super cute and friendly kids.

Reflections

2008-03-11T23:00:00.000-07:00

I feel so calm here. Even in shitty theft situations. The atmosphere is patient. And I appreciate the time spent with Andrea, we travel well and handle each other as well as possible. I enjoy the patience every day brings, the decisions or lack of decisions. I realize soon I will return to an environment of productivity, of rush and do and consume. Where spending the day planning what you will eat and then eating it is not normal. I also realize this lifestyle cannot go on forever, for important things will run dry: money, long lasting relationships (1 won't always be enough), mostly money. But I can look forward to returning. I can look forward to sharing my experience, the calmness which latin america is thick with. And I pine for a home. For relationships that last beyond 2 minutes or 3 days. For a throat infection cure that does not involve ass injections.

I want to take this feeling, this here and now, with me everywhere I go. I lost it last time, and I fear it will once again escape me over time. The sun helps. As does the city life.

From Ometepe to Leon

2008-03-09T08:42:00.000-07:00

My passport was stolen. Also, my ipod, jewlery, wine key!, pesos, and my flippin Mexico and Central America map. So that really flippin sucks. We took the ferry from Isla de Ometepe back to the mainland, and after 3 buses, 1 cab, and many limping steps later we made it to a hostel in Leon. It was there that we were able to open our bags and realize our missing property. Dammit. We sullenly limped over to a nearby restaurant to grumble, cry, and give angry stares over delicious food and a litre of beer.

It's sad because it's shit like this that makes Nicaragua lose tourism. And it's shit like this that makes people lose trust in people.

Isla de Ometepe, Day 3

2008-03-08T08:30:00.000-08:00

I woke up so soar I almost had to crawl out of my room, a perfect day for relaxation. We headed to Ojo de Agua, a cement walled, fresh(?) water pool with a rope swing. It was quite lovely. When the sun stopped being relentless and the water felt too cool for perfection we loaded into the back of Mel's truck and headed for the beach. There, we encountered a rediculous amount of knat like bugs, so intense one could hardly speak without eating them and I had to constantly cover my glass so as not to drink them. Yum.

Isla de Ometepe, Day 2

2008-03-07T21:00:00.000-08:00

11Km, 4am, intense, awesome. We climbed the volcano, the inactive one with the crater lake. Goodness gracious we were (are) soar and it was HOTT! But still, we climbed a volcano! Muddy, steep, so very green. It took our knees and ankles and said, ¨really? You really thought you could climb 11Km up and down a huge ass volcano in Nicaragua with one and a half liters of water?¨Well, I´m soar, but damn, it was invigorating. And nothing a plate of spagetti and a banana licuado can´t fix.

Isla de Ometepe, Day 1

2008-03-06T20:52:00.000-08:00

Leaving San Juan via collective (shared cab), 20 minutes and 2 flat tires later we find ourselves on the side of the road hoping. As the canadian with a braided tail and buzzed/bald head in the red truck slows down, we jump in and head to San Jorge for the ferry to Isla de Ometepe. Direct ride, $0! Sweet.

It takes about an hour, small and rocking. I hear Marshalls words in my head, something about how to stand, something about a horizon. I do my best and make it, wishing I had requested more details regarding Ferry rides. We arrive to the Island and have no plan, merely boarded the ferry because people said, yea, the Island´s beautiful. So we jump on a bus, and then later jump off of it, in what appears to be a strange nothing village.

In the small tourist office, big enough for 8 bikes, a map of the island, and strangely enough a subway map of NYC, a kind young man explains the many reasons why we should stay in the village, and then, oh and by the way, my dad owns a hostel, I´ll take you there. Want to climb the volcano? Oh, we have a guide! Smart family.

San Juan del Sur

2008-03-05T20:28:00.000-08:00

We left Tola. We bid Mom and Dad a somewhat emotional farewell with promises to keep in touch. Such amazing, beautiful people. I understood very little of what they said, I suppose language barriers can do that. But it didn´t matter, their beauty shone through their smiles and generosity. Along with their daughter Kayla, they found they could communicate with me as though I was deaf, with high fives, pointing, and other motions. It was very funny and they NEVER stopped feeding us.

So we left for San Juan del Sur, a once fishing village, now a tourist surf haven and fishing village. Wierd. We don´t fit in at tourist destinations. For one, we don´t have much money, so we wander a lot, eat ice cream, and sit in internet cafes while others plan sea turtle expeditions, talk in surfer accents with their giant boards, and drink. We read outload on a breezy balcony outside of a (free! did I mention I love couch surfing?) stuffy room, and go to bed early. We spend the morning drinking coffee, watching birds, and preparing for our next adventure: Isla de Ometepe.

ouch

2008-03-04T13:57:00.001-08:00

It seems that I am falling apart. Although painfull and anoying, not all that surprising as I seem to have this tendency. Andrea says she´s gonna have to mail me home in pieces in a box.

Another soar throat emerged yesterday, this time most likely from the dust. Today it was worse and not wanting to deal with the idea of being in even more pain I headed to the doctor. I never imagined one trip would invoke so many ass injections, I´m up to four in three weeks. He offered a week of pills or one injection, I took the injection as I wanted quick relief. His response, I found out later, was ¨It´s gonna go deep in the ass¨and ¨she won´t be able to walk for 2 days.¨It hurt so bad they had to give me two because the first one I tensed up too much for. Awesome.

In addition to this, I am still pretty soar from the bike accident yesterday. I´d give details, but due to fear, all I remember is getting on the bike, and then landing on the ground with Dad on top of me and the bike on top of him. So yea.

Heat in Tola

2008-03-03T13:47:00.000-08:00

Kayla´s family's bday present to me is a lesson on the bike. So after the sun cools down we head to the nearby baseball/soccer field. The field is covered with high school and older boys kickin balls, hangin out, outside of the fence green surrounds, as usual, and mountains in the distance. I cannot help but feel, yet again, overcome with joy, so extremely fortunate.

Earlier in the day, in search of internet Kayla led us to a school, kids anywhere between the ages of 5-14 surrounded. We stuck out like a sore thumb, the uniforms didn't help. The internet we used was in a large room with 20 computers and 30 students. There we sat, as I read birthday emails and jealous inquiries, receiving stares, pokes, and strange comments. But these emails reminded me of the grey coldness of home. A beauty sometimes more difficult to see.

The heat today was almost suffocating. We eat and then lay down, watching tv or reading by the fan. Then we eat again. It´s really all one can do in this heat. So when the power went out and we ventured outside Dad decided it was time to teach the silly white girls how to drive a motorcycle.

Birthday: From Managua to Tola

2008-03-02T13:22:00.000-08:00

I bring in my 25th year in Managua, Nicaragua at a ''summer party,'' an outdoor bar with a band that reminds us of the high school singing cover songs from Green Day, Offspring, etc, but with an accent so I´m a creep sounds like i´m a crepe and we we laugh into hysterics at the idea.

The actual day begins with reading by the poolside, and toast with tamarind marmalade and coffee. We head to the bus station around noon and as we sit in our express chicken bus waiting to take off we realize food would be a good idea. So we wander 20ft from our bus to a woman making enchiladas and as we wait for our change Andrea looks up to notice that our bus is departing. A quick ¨Gracias¨a money grab, and we run.

Nicaragua is green and beautiful. Everytime we get in a bus to travel to our next destination the green surrounds. Today I realize how much I will miss the bauty of latin america once I leave. It is a beauty uncomparable to any I have encountered and it lies greatly in its culture.

So we take the bus to Rivas and then a cab to our next destination, Tola. Within minutes of arriving we have met the whole family, they radiate beauty. My first interaction with them is enough to make this one of the best birthdays of my life. For the first time on this trip I seem to understand nearly everything spoken. They even blast the Nicaraguan birthday song from the house as we sit out back and drink our ice cold cocas under a canopy.

Then, we go to the ocean. Obviously. A 30 minute car ride down a bumpy dirt road, and there it is. THE OCEAN! We sit on the sand and talk. HaHa. Who am I kidding? I just lay there and try to pick up the bits and pieces of spanish I can grasp. I wade in the frigid water up to my knees and then we walk to the rocks. We climb up and watch the waves come in huge and crash, like a monster attacking the mountainous shore. I am mezmerized. The energy that pulses through the waves is spectacular and occasionally makes me jump with its power. We watch the water, and then the crabs, and then the sunset.

We return for a dinner of rice, beans, fried chicken, fried plantains, rum and O.J. But for serious, the best beans we have ever had. Whoa. Fantansia Ice cream for desert.

I can still feel the ocean pulsating through my body.

Jinotepe to Managua

2008-03-01T13:18:00.000-08:00

Miriam's words fill my head. Everything is internal, we can change anything. Her calmness puts me at ease and her interaction with Angel fills me with joy. The whole family is beautiful and I am anxious to spend more time with their beauty, ideals, aura.

A couple of days in small towns- Masaya, Jinotepe. They are similar and uneventful. But it's the people that make the experience, that is who I learn and grow from.

We take a collectivo to Managua, the capitol, after making plans to return to Jinotepe the following weekend. It is strange here. We stay with a wonderful french couple. Giant walls, a gate, and a guard surround their property. And it feels like a palace. But Managua is strange and dirty. Random bits of modernity. The acute difference is strange and although the palace is lovely with its pool, multiple dining room tables, three course meals, I prefer the outside.

Strange beauty

2008-02-27T11:54:00.000-08:00

It's lovely here, a little too lovely. The Monkey Hut, Laguna de Apoyo, a backpacker resort located in a crater between Granada and Masaya. Everyone speaks english and everyone is white. Are we even in Nicaragua? Tubes, Kayaks, a Canoe (without oars), on a lake with a dock to dive off of. Very pretty, very silly, $10/night. Wierd. So very beautiful. It almost feel wrong...but it's not.

The calmness the evening waves bring remind me that everything is as it should be. i cannot imagine a better place for me or a better time. Close your eyes and listen to the waves against the shore, the wind through the trees, the laugh and chatter of her stories, plans, adventures. Enjoy and be enjoyed.

Easy Breezy in Nicaragua

2008-02-26T23:47:00.000-08:00

At 11:30pm on Saturday night we boarded a bus. Two days later we were in Nicaragua. Border crossings make me laugh. Guatemala, El Salvador, Honduras, Nicaragua. I paid a total of 10 Quetzales and 12 US Dollars, took my bag off the bus once for an immigration man to look at Andrea and I, smile, and wave us on. It is rediculous. The hardships Mexicans and Latinos go through to come into the US, meanwhile we could be carrying who the hell knows what and it's easy breezy. We prance across one border after another without a worry in the world.

So yea, we made it to Nicaragua. With the help and money of a jovial San Salvadorian we also made it into a cab, a bus, and to a backpacker hostel in Granada. We spent our first full day in this beautiful country bicycling through the street, to the lake, through the market, to a fort, and didn't even get knocked off our bikes (although we came pretty close).

The men in the streets are much worse here. In addition to their cat calls they also like suck their teeth and make other horrible noises at us. However, the architecture that covers Granada displays its age as well as its beauty. The heat the elevation brought reminded my body of its inability to handle humidity. Meanwhile, I have an interview for a job in Florida and don't know if I have the ability to breathe, let alone teach in sticky, wet, draining climate. Awesome.

GLOW

2008-02-23T11:44:00.000-08:00

Spanish is starting to come back to me, what little of it I already know. After buying bus tickets for me and my rediculous friend a glow permeated out of me, it must have had a 50 foot radius. I feel great. Tired, but great.

Breathing in the warmth of love

2008-02-21T08:50:00.000-08:00

Learning to love all over again. Mexico is filled with it. Not the kind that leaves you wondering what you should say or if your feelings are valid and reciprocated. Realizing it is okay to love simply because it feels right. I started reading, maybe for the first real time in my life. I found new perspective, patience, and love. So now I speak to my heart. It loves me, openly, honestly, and unconditionally.

My emotions are wild here. As inconsistant as Michigan winters. I go from glowing to melancholy in seconds. But I am learning to accept myself for all my beauty and flaws. I am an emotionally intense 24 year old, and know now that I´m stuck with me. My birthday is approaching sooner than desired. The first one in ever that I do not look forward to. Maybe it´s the lack of camp friedenswald, but more probable is the fact that it´s 25. I look back at the last 5 years and want, no beg, for it to slow down.

I´ve been here for over a week and have done little. It´s been nice. Last night we stood in our courtyard watching the entire eclipse. Magnificent. A good portion of my time has been spent resting and relaxing. My nasty case of strep throat is nearly gone, thank God for ass injections (ouch). So now we prepare to depart San Cristobal and head to Nicaragua. I realize this is the reason I ventured down here at all, but I have grown very fond of our place here. Change and I have a very strange relationship. It always treats me well, but sometimes comfort is hard to leave.

I am so glad I made the quick, slightly rediculous decision to come down here. Sometimes craziness really does come in handy.

hmmm

2008-02-15T21:00:00.000-08:00

Well, I´m in Mexico again. It was way too easy to just leave and be here. I find myself occasionally wondering why I came, what I thought I would find. But then I look around and return into now and find myself very pleased. My body prefers to spend days basking in the sun, evenings reading, and nights sleeping. At first thought it seems to be stuck in Michigan Winter, but in reality, it just really likes these activities.

It is somewhat difficult to think about future plans here for 2 reasons: 1) Mexican culture is very slow paced (awesome), and 2) My traveling companion seems to have a new plan every hour. The latter I should be used to by now. ah well.

Not sure I ever left

2008-02-15T15:14:00.001-08:00

I made it. The funny thing is I really didn´t have to leave the country to find sunshine. There was some in detroit! Miami was strangely cloudy, but Cancun was lovely and after two flights and a 19hr bus ride later I stumbled into Andrea´s arms and there was sunshine there (in San Cristobal) too!

Wednesday was spent resting and partying (obviously). Shortly before I arrived Andrea scored a sweet place to stay...for free. So we have a room, with a bed. The rest of the house is basically a small cement courtyard, perfect for laying in the sun to recover from a hang over (I forgot about that whole altitude thing, whoa). So, the recovering..well that was thursday. And today we went to the garden outside of the city, I spent 5 hours watering vegetables and then chowed down at the organic vegetarian restaurant. Pretty sweet.

It´s much warmer here than it was back in December, and although my spanish is worse than before, it feels good to be back. I´ve heard back from both of the places I applied at, and although it´s wierd to think about working it´s nice to be doing something while I play the waiting game.

Lost & Found

2008-02-06T23:00:00.000-08:00

There is nothing like knowing you're going to see the person that lights up your soul to bring you out of the winter slump. So, I'm headed south. Every idea I've had since returning has sucked and this one makes sense.

There are days where I don't go outside, I don't see the sun. I sit in front of the computer thinking it will tell me what's next, it has the answers. But there are no answers. There is only right now, there is only love.

I'm tired. Of short days, of being in the way, taking up space. I'm tired of waiting. Of empty streets and gray skies. Of my parents quiet hope, wondering what I'll amount to and hoping for more.

I'm going back, but in a forward motion. I read on a job site the other day, "When you look back at your life, you will regret the things you did not do..." Right now...is everything.

Lacking direction

2008-01-25T23:18:00.000-08:00

Confused by direction and love, my head spins uncontrollably. A mix of emotions and an inability to know what is real, what is rational. February blues hit early this year (or maybe late) and are as capricious as my knowing where I'll be 2 weeks from now, let alone tomorrow. What am I searching for or running from? I have never in my life felt such a lack of direction and such a craving to be elsewhere.

I cannot trust my heart to a soul for it may be shattered.

Yet, I am so very privileged to have this choice, this time. And as the loneliness seeps in it is multiplied by what ifs and why nots. Beautiful lonely people in a world where privilege becomes an annoyance as we are pushed and forced and pressured to do something and do it now. I am governed by love and yet know not how to share it. Craving a lifestyle in which choice is vacant and love abounds. Let me be barefoot in the kitchen and take your baggage on as my own. I speak to no one or someone or anyone and pray that one day I will be balanced enough to love someone effortlessly.

Angered at society, at everything. In a state of disbelief, this can't really be our world, my world, it just can't be. Let us live in now, in forever. So in this moment, the here and now, I surrender. Tomorrow, well who the fuck knows? Massage therapy, Northampton, hospital unit clerk, Mexico, substitute teacher, a knife to my wrist. Maybe I'll just put them all in a hat and draw one.

But the most fucked up thing, through all of this, is that a smile is still stretched across my lips, the gentle kind that comes from compassion. And I'm learning lately, that compassion for self is maybe the post important kind.

Headed elsewhere

2008-01-16T23:54:00.000-08:00

Getting ready to head off again. No destination, just a journey. People look at me strange when I say I'll be gone between a week and forever, so I've started saying I'm moving to Boston. Caroline doesn't even live in Boston and I've never been, but according to many I belong there (?). People ask how I can afford it. And for that I suppose I'm lucky. I don't see a necessity for surplus, I can make a little go a long way, and when I need it, I'll find it. I feel like Mexico was just a training, preparing me for traveling alone, sleeping on floors, being broke, finding beauty and pleasure in simplicity. But this time it's just me. No one to tell me where I'm sleeping, what I'm eating, or what tomorrow may bring. My traveling soul mate is wondering through a city I once found forever in, with a bar in which we slept on the floor, with a school where dreamy instructors distracted me from a language I thought I'd learn.

So I wonder. How to be whole without my Andrea and how long I'll last without Raul's guacamole. One day at a time. I feel drawn all over: South, North, East (not west for awhile-I promised Misty August). Connections to everywhere, meanwhile knowing that through solitary exploring I will learn myself.

To be alone. To truly be alone is something I have yet to experience, but am interested in what will surface and excited at the vast array of endless possibilities.

Don't wade, don't test the waters, just JUMP!

2007-12-14T10:25:00.000-08:00

One of the few things I bought in Chiapas before leaving was a natural fiber journal, knowing that eventually my traveling one would run out of paper. As I write in it now, I feel as though it represents a new section, a new phase of my life. I wonder if the tequila bottle that broke in my bag, making 3 months of ink vanish from the pages and into the Houston airport was encouraging me to move forward. So here I sit, neither moving forward nor back, just stationary, for the moment. But only for the moment. Only one day to rest and then I throw myself back into the rush of American life. Feeling loved and appreciated, but mostly just overwhelmed.

And so I jump right back into the double shifts, being paid to smile, into dancing from one social adventure to the next, without even enough time to simply decorate with Mom, empty my bag, or breathe. I want to scream and cry and sing and don't feel like I even have time for that. A new me in the old circle. I can't begin to express myself or the differences between the cultures, the surroundings. Overwhelmed, overstimulated, overworked. But then I stop. As I did so many times while traveling. I take some deep breaths, refocus, recenter, smile, and appreciate the beauty of the people, the places, everything. It is all beautiful. Different, intense, and beautiful.

Day 93: Bittersweetness

2007-12-11T09:55:00.000-08:00

The runway is wet from the rain and it fits. I will not miss Cancun or the duty free store that sucked me to my last peso. But I will miss so much more. Even when it rains here it is still beautiful. But I can see Mike's words in my head, "enjoy your time and know you have much to look forward to when you return." And I do.

So I fly home alone, the 4 of us go our separate ways with no idea of what is to come, only the feeling that were ready. Even now, as the plane rolls along the runway, green surrounds. I have difficulty imagining the bare branches, the snow, the blue sky turned grey. And yet I am excited. Sometimes I don't know why, but I'll realize it soon enough.

A strange mixture of independence and loneliness. When it started I never imagined the ending and now that it's over I can't imagine what's next. One day at a time. Today I'll fly home. See 4 beautiful people. Organize my pics. Unpack my bag. Drink bourbon.

Day 92: Riviera Maya

2007-12-10T09:32:00.000-08:00

My last full day in Mexico and I feel so far removed from Mexican culture I wonder if the last 91 days were a dream. The only sign of familiarity comes from talking with the maid, which forces me to speak in Spanish. Puerto Aventuras, a private condo community located on the Riviera Maya between Playa del Carmen and Tulum, is my last home away from home. The sand is white and thick like putty or dried frosting, the water turquoise, and the private property signs along the beach are royal blue and obviously being ignored by yours truly. Perhaps one may call this paradise, personally I find it disgusting. Where are the vendors selling nuts, hammocks, and jewelry? Where are the specialized street shops (panaderia, zapateria, papeleria)? Where is the market? And why, for the love of god, are the prices for everything in U.S. dollars? But really, it is beautiful. I would simply prefer a view of mountains to condos. The one thing that does feel familiar and comforting is the question, "how the hell am I getting to the airport tomorrow?" I was told to, "Walk to the highway, get on a bus, then at some point get off the bus (on the highway) and wait for another bus..." ok!

A mix of emotions and I wonder what I'll miss the most. The ocean, my friends, the stress free life of traveling (does that even make sense?), the market, the sun. I don't know what is next for me. I gave up thinking about that a long time ago. I do know that there is an amazing family waiting for me. There is also a job that feels like family. I know that I am ready for something, but the vast array of endless possibilities frightens me just a little, and excites me a lot. But I don't know if I'm ready to handle America. Life here feels slower, it feels right. What an amazing experience. I feel in a sense that by leaving I am taking my travels and throwing them away. I have learned so much and I need to carry these lessons everywhere I go. I feel proud of myself for really leaving. Taking a voyage without a plan. Being flexible to pick up and go to a new destination or stay as long as desired. And so I cry now and know not why. Maybe it's the knowledge that I'll be stuck inside, hiding from the cold grey winter, or not knowing when I'll see my girls. Maybe it is the fear of the unknown-but I love the unknown.

Day 88: On heading home

2007-12-06T18:49:00.000-08:00

Recently we have traveled to Antigua and Xela (pronounced Shayla), Guatemala. I have loved both. Only in Xela 24 hours and I hear Andrea's slightly under the weather voice in my ear, "I want to live here." Me too. A very large city that feels more like a German X-mas village. It may or may not have anything to do with the fact that it is December.

It is December. Today a 30 minute walk with Jo into the countryside made me think of what I'll miss and what I look forward to. We do a lot of that lately. "Imagine actually being able to talk on the phone." Or "I'll miss wanting tortillas, walking a block and having them warm and fresh inmy hand." That and the many bakeries. I could go on and on. Guatemala is different from Mexico, but in many aspects it is very similar. I will miss much from both.

Today it hit me. Hard. Like a brick wall or maybe a basketball in the face. It's almost over. We were preparing dinner, Andrea and I, and I started to really freak out. So I ran out the door, for fresh air and to search for Tostadas and Johanna, both very important.

I find a strange sense of comfort in not knowing what tomorrow or even today will bring. In finding routine through bakeries, market trips, and exploring new cities. Waking up and traveling or waking up and arriving in a new unknown place is a beautiful way of life. Andrea reminds me that going home is not ending the trip, for every day is part of the exploration, the voyage of life. That I can keep traveling, this is simply another stop along the way. Perhaps it is this response that keeps me from tearing up and helps me to refocus on dinner. I both fear and look forward to what is next, the unknown. Or maybe it is the constant question I will hear after my journey. But this is my journey and it will continue to be my journey.

I really just want to cry and make everything make sense. Live the way I live, knowing tomorrow will be beautiful, because it will. I want to jump past the culture shock of American life. Never in my dreams did I imagine this experience would be as beautiful as it has been, I am very lucky. For I have so much to look forward to: bourbon by the fireplace, snow in the streets, and hugs. So many hugs.

Day 85: Rio Dulce

2007-12-04T00:31:00.000-08:00

It was time to leave the Caribbean coast, so we decided to leave on the popular "Rio Dulce": take the river boat through the winding jungle, pass through the nature reserve, stop at the delicious hot springs, soak in the sun. Well, not so much. 20 minutes into it and we had our chest to our knees, covered in plastic as the rain and wind attacked at all sides. So much for that Caribbean boat ride.

Day 84: 7 Altares

2007-12-02T00:23:00.000-08:00

Broke with desires. We'd heard beautiful things about the jungle tour: walk through the jungle to the 7 altares, jump off the water fall into the fresh water pools, pay money you don't have. So we decided to take the voyage on ourselves. 3 hours, sea shells in pockets, and sun absorbed later we entered the jungle and walked barefoot along the slippery delicious stones. The water: refreshing, clear, and encouraging. We walked until we could jump. Looking at my friends, slightly afraid of heights, I wondered who would be the first to jump off the falls into the pool below. "I'll take your picture," Andrea said, as I peered over the edge. My response: "OK!," as I went flying into the perfect pool of clarity. I layed there floating, peering up at the trees opening up to the sky and everything just felt right. I'm a fish, what more can I say.

Day 83: Museo de Livingston

2007-12-01T00:15:00.000-08:00

A Museum with a history of the cultures of Livingston is located near the dock. Although the pictures, musical artifacts and history runs deep, the translations of the history left me hysterically confused. Most paragraphs contained the phrase "You/he/she/it" several times, without a necessity for a single one. It made less than sense. My "You/he/she/it" interest for the different African and Latino cultures, however, grew as I understood words with out a storyline.

It was the perfect rainy day activity.

Day 83:Guatemala

2007-12-01T00:06:00.000-08:00

10 days left and I feel a strange inability to write. A mixture of proximity to leaving, and lacking the energy Mexico radiates. For the first time in 3 months I feel like a tourist, checking out the sites, paying for a bed, talking only to other travelers. I love to learn new places but now understand why Mexico holds such a special place in peoples hearts. However, Guatemala holds unique beauty of its own.

Covered in jungle, rain forest, delicious green beauty, whether on foot, boat, van, or bus, I find myself always peering with a strange glow in my eye. I yearn to trek through the intense green that covers every mountain we weave through and when I find myself actually surrounded I wonder if it's really make believe.

We've spent over 3 days in Livingston, located on the Guatemalan border with the Caribbean sea, between Honduras and Belize. A village with a mixture of 4 different cultures, tourism on the main strip, and beautiful community through the remaining space.

Day 80: The Ruins of Tikal

2007-11-29T23:54:00.000-08:00

Amazing. The largest of the ancient ruined cities of the Mayan civilization. To simply try and imagine a people building something so amazing, living in a time so different is absolutely astounding. Walking through the jungle from one structure to another gave me a sense of peace, a sense of curiosity. And then suddenly we'd come upon a clearing, another structure, and people would abound, once again a tourist, surrounded by other tourists. But it was fun. Eventually we came to a section called the "Gran Plaza,"structures upon structures upon...as Andrea called it, "a playground." We ran up and down stairs, in and out of temples, trying to get to the highest point, around corners and suddenly again you were in the jungle watching monkeys in the trees. As Jo and I ascended our last structure for the day, a dark cloud turned into a dark sky, sprinkles turned into a storm and the tree we met Andrea under didn't keep us dry enough to try. So we went running through the buckets pouring on our head, avoiding puddles as best we could, running in a direction we hoped led to the exit. It did. And as soon as we got there the rain ceased, obviously.

Day 78: Clouds across borders

2007-11-27T18:50:00.000-08:00

Chiapas has clouds like I've never seen before and everytime I think back to my time in Chiapas, I will see the clouds.

We drive through the winding hills as the clouds mingle with the mountain tops. Perfectly thick. I peer out the window and down into the valley (or is it a river) as the fog settles inbetween the mountainous structures and living shrubbery. A perfect earthly balance. The sun has just set and I wonder why I have spent so much time in the cities, knowing what lies outside the concrete parks, the women selling cloth, the children selling cigarettes. It is so deliciously beautiful. By the time we get a flat tire the clouds have covered the sky, light from the sun is obsolete. We spend the night in a room with 2 beds and a concrete floor on the border. In the morning we head into Guatemala and as we drive through the villages upon a dirt road for 4 hours, I am once again amazed by the clouds. However, this time something else takes my breath: the overgrowth of diversity. And it's everywhere. No order, no control. Just plush green beauty.

Times like this I wish i had the skills of a true writer, to express my feelings, my view into words, to take the breathlessness, the overwhelming joy, the glow from my soul, my eyes, and reproduce it on paper. But clouds like these, and diversity through growth, and crowded guatemalan buses are meant to be experienced.

Day 74-5: Turkey day

2007-11-23T11:07:00.000-08:00

The clouds engulf the mountains beneath the nearly full moon, thick fluffy, dark, beautiful, as we walk quickly to La Cruz (the cross), known as the meeting spot in the city, familiar, but this time slightly different surroundings as we are walking from our newest couch surfing house, to be our fifth home in one week. Each place has had its own special perk, this one has many: very close to the zocalo, yet you can nearly reach the forest (with your hand, literally), a real backyard, we're talking grass here folks-like the real stuff, and a picnic table-I know, it's almost too much to handle, and a beautiful view of the city from the bedroom window. Walking past the quiet shops I realize I do not miss black friday back home (day after thanksgiving, blitz day, buy nothing day, an anti materialists hell).

Turkey Day
We woke up early enough to pack our stuff, take it to the peace house and get to the garden outside of the city by 9am. Roberto had stopped by the previous night to let us know it was time to move on out of the hotel. We of course spent our last night in our kingdom cooking tacos con papas, taking hot showers, and enjoying comfort. We spent 5 hours at the garden, pulling weeds, planting onions, seperating rediculous amounts of worms from soil, and talking with the 2 guys who work there. http://findingbirdsinforests.blogspot.com/2007/11/gracias-la-vida.html The garden is small and connected to a vegetarian organic restaurant in the city. Volunteers at the garden receive a free ticket to the lunch buffet, and so we had our (first) T-day feast. The second came in the form of a dinner party. The food, again vegetarian, was as far from a thanksgiving dinner as the house was from Mexican culture.

Although it was spent with near strangers, familiar feelings surounded me: being overly full and yet taking one more helping of my favorite dish (and then another), sipping wine over simple talk, taking turns getting stuck in conversations while trying to leave and an hour later you've said goodbye to the same person at least 3 times. And I am reminded of how traditions bring me home, keep me comfortable. But this year, unlike last, I do not pine for family or love or board games. I know I will be with it soon enough. I know I have TG dinners for the rest of my life, and I find comfort in the fancy condo rented by 3 Seattle writers, filled with travelers, with the only connection to TG being the heat from the oven and the sign on the door that says "Genocide - Poverty - Hunger - NO THANKS NO GIVING! What are you celebrating? Give thanks everyday"....an anti imperialist thanksgiving dinner.

Day 72: Lucky ladies

2007-11-20T15:43:00.000-08:00

An awkward and unwelcome interaction at the Peace House sent us to the next couchsurfer on our list, Roberto. He works at a hotel 4 blocks from the Zocalo and lives with the ideal that space should be filled, no one should be without a bed when there is one available. And there just happens to be one available...at his hotel. Karma is working on our behalf and we must have done something really right. More like an apartment, the hotel room has 2 floors, kitchen, living room with fireplace, upstairs bedroom with the cleanest bathroom in Mexico, with hot water 24hrs a day! Re-dic-u-lous. And free. We are here until the person who lives here returns (he may or may not know we are staying here).

Chiapas is known for its natural beauty, one of the reasons I was drawn here. Today we took another day trip, this time to El Rancho Nuevo. 15 minutes outside of the city, covered with enough pine trees to encourage deep breathing and makes me scream "MICHIGAN!" as we enter. While there we ate pinapple on a log, wandered through a cave while dancing to keep warm, and sat on a hill surrounded by pines. Just lovely.

Moving forward and staying present

2007-11-19T09:09:00.001-08:00

We rarely plan for tomorrow, and then spend hours searching and applying for jobs. We have long talks with strangers about having free spirits, traveling forever, living different lives in a different generation (than our folks), and then speak with lovers and parents about futures. It's about ideals and reality, love in so many different forms, across borders, through physical, mental, and spiritual. It's about beauty, of people, culture, country, soul. It's about waking up and listening to the sun, the wind, but most importantly yourself.

Day 70: San Cristobal de las Casas

2007-11-18T17:26:00.000-08:00

These days I travel only with Andrea, and occasionally with friends we meet along the way. There exists an understanding between us that comes from time and common interests. Sometimes that interest is simply to relax and wander, occasionally it involves taking care of each other through health, language, and relaxation, but it always involves going wherever the wind may take us. Our history simply aids us in communicating efficiently and reading each others minds when necessary.

Since arriving on Friday in San Cristobal de las Casas, Chiapas, we have been staying at a place called the Peace House, basically a place for international volunteers. However, since we arrived it has only been us, and Zachary and Evan, two Indiana boys we met back in D.F. The space is nice as it gives us opportunity for relaxation and comfort. The only annoyance is a kitten who never seems to stop meowing and likes to poop everywhere.

Yesterday (Saturday), the evening was spent enjoying a dinner party with fellow travelers, filling up on guacamole while cooking spaghetti and beets, and sipping wine over conversations with old, fairly new, and very new friends. From Seattle, Frisco, Chi town, Germany, Mexico, and Michigan, we found commonalities in a dimly lit room with a fireplace in the corner, a table perfect for 8, and warmth from the stove.

Today (Sunday), I temporarily filled my craving for nature. 4km from the Zocalo is the Huitepec Ecological Reserve, filled with evergreen oaks that twist at the base and climb up to an elevation of 2700m into a cloud forest. After taking a combi (refurbished cheap van) to the entrance of the reserve, we made the climb, stopping occasionally at questions on wood stands, like, "these trees are different than the ones before, do you notice the difference?". The elevation made it occasionally difficult to breath and left me feeling light headed and glowing. The strange colorful cupped leaves covered the trails, reminding me of Michigan fall. I imagined myself, once again, walking through Kalamazoo trails, breathing deeply, taking it all in. And I realized that although I long for home, I know it is not yet time.

I have learned much, about the culture, about myself, about what is next for me. But there is a level of peace, of balance, of patience, of love that I feel is lacking. Although I know I can find this on my return, I feel that I need to challenge myself to reach further, to become these things in the presence of traveling, in the absence of familiarity and comfort. I find myself slipping from focus. With a plane ticket in hand I think too much of what is to come, but it is the here and now, the present in which I live, in which focus must reside.

Day 65 & 66: Monday night at Nueva Babel

2007-11-14T10:53:00.000-08:00

We decide to stay in Oaxaca through Monday so we can see this guitar player. Andrea assures me he is so full of life and happiness I will not regret the experience. We have a habit of saying we're leaving "tomorrow" and three days later we are still saying, "we are leaving tomorrow." And so now, three days later...we are leaving for San Cristobal tomorrow, to arrive on friday morning.

But the guitar player...Leo, his eyes shine with so much vibrance you think you are looking into the beauty of the sun, he laughs...all the time and his whole body laughs with him and it makes the whole room fill with happiness. "Every sound that isn't Leo's laugh is an empty sound," my traveling companion blurts out one night at dinner. So I obviously don't regret the experience or the rest of the night.

We stay up until 8am dancing and laughing: Leo, Andrea, Leo's friends, and Misty (a beautiful woman from Seattle who has a soul so full of energy and excitement I glow just to be in her presence). It's too late or early to return to our couchsurfing house (a 60yr old women who works 2 jobs and has a nephew we never see, who never opens the door for us. The fence to the house is too high to climb and jump, we've tried). So Andrea and I sleep on a friend of Leos' couch, I guess that's what couch surfing is all about.

We spend the morning curled up under numerous blankets, talking over tea and toast with Paco's mom, or maybe his aunt. We spend the afternoon at a sushi place. Leo plays guitar there sometimes, so we get the sushi free of charge. I sit soaking up the sun, eating sushi, and drinking beer, while Paco plays the flute, Leo laughs, and Andrea and I bask in our happiness.

Day 63: Back in Oaxaca City

2007-11-12T12:19:00.000-08:00

Travelers find travelers. It is a beautiful part of traveling. I spent one week at the beach, five days which were spent alone, met 6 washingtonites, 3 swedish gals, and 1 virginia gent. Shared stories, philosophies, and cookies. Although I miss the ocean I can still feel myself diving into her waves, being pulled to and fro by here energy, and taste her salty waters. I do not , however, miss the nightly bug bites in the hammock. I cherish my moments spent there, the friends made, the choppy spanish used. But as quickly as my feet moved through the hot sand to be cooled by her waters, something inside of me new it was time to move on.

After bidding the ocean adieu, I stepped off an 8 1/2 hour bus ride once again. But this time I did not step into suffocating heat, quite the opposite really. I knew I had been asleep for awhile, but was it possible that I was back in Michigan? The language answered the question, and I immediately wondered what the hell was I thinking to leave La Playa and the warmth behind. I immediately ripped my bag open and put on all the (slightly sandy) layers I could muster, stepped into a cab (for warmth) and headed to the zocalo (city center).

It was 7am, as I waited an hour and a half for my Andrea to find me, I shared the one sunny bench I could find with 2 old mexican men, them with their breakfast tacos, me with my headpones and bouncing knees.

The day was hazy, or maybe we were hazy, wondering the streets, visiting the same delicious organic market for 2 meals and arriving at casa chapulin for a presentation, an amazing meal, and news that made all the bug bitten hammock nights and bus sleeping grogginess worthwhile. While I was in Playa San Augustinillo having an inkling to return to my amigas, they had made friends with a band. To make a long story short, we had a free hotel room for the night: 2 beds, a pool, and mexican buffet breakfast included...very fancy. Shortly after arriving at the hotel we made friends with 2 musicians and 1 crazy spaniard, musical entertainment lasted late into the night. And just to top it off, the next day the sun shone warm on us as we laid with our very full bellys next to the pool.

Day 60 & 61: Reflections at the Ocean

2007-11-09T08:56:00.000-08:00

So many emotions and feelings I don't know how to write, where to start. I feel alone in this world, yet know that is so far from the truth. And it is not the solitary position I find mysef , but perhaps the lack of communication from the outside. I try to think of what is next for me and endless possibilities frighten me. I consider finding some kind of office job, ideally a receptionist position for some kind of holisitc professional, and I worry that I will get sucked in to the process we are taught in school, from our parents, from society: school, job, career, reproduce (there might be a few others). I wonder if I'm ready and I think about all the ideas I had when I was younger, being a river guide, working at camps. So I go online to get an idea of what's out there, and I realize I'm exactly where I was a year ago (hopefully with more maturity), looking for work away from home, while knowing it is home I pine for. That when I return I will be reminded of everything I love and missed and will once again get sucked in. And yet I am torn because I see myself ending up in the midwest and realize now is the time for my adventures. I meet people with lifestyles that excite me and wonder what there presence or passing through in my life represents. Maybe it is just a reminder of the endless possibilities.

**********************************

We are taught what is beautiful. As I look around me I see paradise, beauty. But I know that it is interaction, people that make life beautiful. I look out and see palm trees, the ocean, rocks, sunshine, mountains, it is amazing, and for only 30 pesos, I get this, a hammock, solitude. Yet I will return to grey, cold, beautiful Michigan. A different kind of beauty, one that I have trouble puting into words, but feel so deeply inside.

**********************************

An insight through medititation reminded me of how insignificant I am, we all are. How it doesn't matter, it is okay for me to simply be right now. The ocean is huge and I am but one wave, affected by the energy of my environment, of the people I interact with and in my movement, in my energy I affect those in my path. That is all.

Day 56: Mazunte Beach

2007-11-05T08:23:00.001-08:00

An 8 1/2 bus ride from Oaxaca to Pochutla and I barely manage to wake up enough to stumble off the bus. It is 7:30 in the morning. We gather our belongings and continue on foot to find a camioneta (refurbished pick up truck) to finish our journey to the Mazunte beach.

The beach here is beautiful, with restaurant/bars 50ft from the shore and rocks big enough to keep you from voyaging too far down the beach. The waves are vicious and make me think twice before entering, but they are so captivating that I can not keep from staring, and when the heat hits me I jump out of my sandals, throw off my sarong and go running into her beautiful waves. It is very calm here, the village hardly even a village, just one street with a few convenience type stores and restaurants.

The restaurant/bars near the shore all act as hostels as well, offering hammocks, tents or rooms. The room we are currently staying in is a loft, with a palmetto roof and mosquito netting covering the bed. However, soon I will find myself a lovely hammock over looking the ocean.

I find it difficult even now, after 2 months of traveling to relax. To know that it is okay to simply be. However, I know it is here, where this fish can swim, that I will find my balance.

Day 52: Halloween on the farm

2007-11-02T15:41:00.000-07:00

Location: Atlixco, Puebla

After the cab dropped us off on the side of the highway, we patiently waited for our ride. The four of us (Andrea, Johanna, Aliisa, & I) stood there, chilled, and excited, with unknown expectations. We were headed to the farm Amolia had worked at over the summer to drink honey wine, I knew nothing more. We stood there waiting for Kumara, Amolia had described her as a woman with glowing rays of light shooting out of her, holding a baby, and driving jeep. She was right. Kumara was beautiful, with buzzed silver-blonde hair, singing to her child, to the world, with an aura so magnificent and calm. She radiated balance.

We arrived at the farm around 8:30 and layed under the stars as we waited for the others. The night was young as the chill sent us under our covers. We slept in a hexagon shaped building with 12 beds coming out from the walls like rays of sunshine. In the middle, an array of candles and flowers.

The next morning we arose to watch the sun rise reflect on the volcano. It was my first real view of the farm and of the countryside that surrounded us. The smoke crawled slowly out of the volcano as if to match the pace of my brain. I went back into the hexagon to find warmth and await the sound that meant time for a new day to begin.

The morning comenced with simple yoga stretches and movements, reminding me the importance of breath, of finding balance and renewing my connection to the earth. We also found a connection to the music and to each other with a couple simple dances that reminded me of folk dancing at camp, making a complete circle and linking me to my roots.

The farm was small and felt more like a yoga retreat. It was surrounded with natural beauty. Projects included working on the dirt/sand foundation for a sweat lodge, pulling weeds while singing songs, and shaking lettuce seeds out of their plant. Meals and cleaning were of course done through cooperation.

Before dinner we felt halloween in our blood, so we did the best we could with what we had available. I, of course, was a Princess. I made a crown from pretty weeds, my sarong, and a flower for decoration. There was also a traveler, french artist, and a medley of women with mustaches, and men in skirts among us.

After dinner we headed to the village, on the way we hitched a ride on the back of a horse pulled wagon. We used internet in the nearby village of Atlixco and wandered back to the farm. The night continued with singling and playing song in the hexagon, Andru Bemis sing alongs, sharing stories, and drinking tequila and wine. Amolia's wine gave me a warmth that reminded me of cold Michigan nights.

The whole experience, merely 2 nights and 1 day, was absolutely wonderful, unfortunately I spent so much time on projects, I did not take enough time to really take it all in. But it definately gave me a reminder of my need for nature, and a realization of the concrete in which I have thus far been surrounded. I can only imagine the balance and kindness that would arise if we were surrounded by nature for all our days. A dream or a possibility...

The next morning three of the eight of us left for Oaxaca with soar bodies from the manual labor. The rest stayed to take in more of the beauty. Why didn't I stay? It's simple really: I must find the ocean before my money runs out.

Day 48: Saturday in Mexico City

2007-10-29T10:07:00.000-07:00

Tall buildings surround us as we search for the Centro Social Libertario, where Amolia and Andrea will be giving a Beehive Collective Presentation. As we walk down Londres Street the numbers on the buildings descend, which would be a good sign, if we weren't in Mexico. Two hours later after walking all the way to one end, turning around walking all the way to the other end, hitting an internet cafe, and walking down an alley, we arrive. Lucky for us Mexican time is in action and the event started 2 hours late, and 2 minutes before we walked in the door.

We spend the first part of the night traveling through Mexico City with 10 individuals, 6 from Kalamazoo, as we have now added Aliisa and Justin to our clan, and 4 others we either knew or met at the presentation. Fried plantains (YUM!), a concert in the Zocalo (city center) where dancing kept us warm but gave me feelings of regret the following morning as I woke up with an inability to walk...remember the fall down the stairs (day 40)? Yep. Still in pain...

Following the brisk concert, we head back to the other side of town for a party with a stop for some delicious street tacos on the way (holy spicy deliciousness). The party is chill, productive, fun and makes me aware of how conservative Guanajuato and Queretaro are, and how good it feels to be surrounded by liberal minds, anarchists, and people who actually question the world in which we live.

After the party we all seperate to go to our separate sleeping situations. As J and I return to our hostel, I am suddenly reminded that it is Saturday night, and at B & B mexico, this means free tequila night. We walk into the front lobby and are instantly poured tequila shots. After 3 shots in 2 minutes we join the hostel partiers to a halloween party down the street. Few costumes, bobbing for apples, and drunk strangers fill the rest of our night.

Day 45: Santa Rosa

2007-10-27T09:43:00.000-07:00

I awake to the sound of wind shaking the windows so hard I feel they may burst. I look out the window and realize this is the first time I've had a window in a long while. The view from the floor mattress is perfect: a single tree blowing in the wind with a perfect blue sky backdrop. As I stand to peer out the window, my body shakes from the cold, but the view is worth it: cabanas, green hills, and in the valley, the puebla of Santa Rosa, located 2800 meters in elevation and 15 km from Guanajuato.

For the last 45 days (with one exception) I have been surrounded by concrete, the parks in these cities rarely have grass, when they do it is not permitted to be near them. I have been craving nature for a long while. Whenever I feel unbalanced, overwhelmed, lonely, etc, I have an urgency for nature...

So, when opportunity to go to the hills arrived, I didn't think twice. What started as an evening of pasta, vino, and talking near the fire in the countryside tuned into skipping a day of school (such a rebel) to soak in the sunshine, take deep breaths in the brisk wind, and appreciate the beauty that surrounded me. I feel centered and whole again. Being alone and traveling is a rewarding experience, but I am reminded once again of the importance of nature, balance, interaction, and good home cooking.

Day 43: The beauty of independence

2007-10-22T19:15:00.001-07:00

After a ridiculous weekend of chaos I am back at school, have made friends within my hostel, am starting to feel comfortable communicating in spanish, and value this feeling of independence so much that I worry it will end too soon. I will leave this city I have come to love, travel once again with beautiful friends, learn new things, people, places, and lose a part of my independence.

Two of my amigos will arrive into D.F. on friday. From Mexico City we have plans to travel south: Puebla, Oaxaca City, and Mazunte, Oaxaca. Although I look forward to their visit and our adventures together, I crave self exploration and am just beginning to get that deeper understanding of myself, of inner love and peace. But the best part is simply knowing that the possibilities of my future are endless. It is enough to stretch a smile from ear to ear.

Day 40: Tumbling towards fluency

2007-10-22T18:59:00.000-07:00

I'm having a lot of strange feelings, a lot of new feelings.

Now feeling so far removed from my hometown, country, everything, I finally feel good in another city. This is new, to feel comfortable, yet continuously challenged, by a language, by men, by isolation. I cherish the people at bar fly for taking me in, showing me kindness.

Today, the city is booming with people from the festival, streets filled with pedestrians as far as the eye can see, music, clowns, street performers of all shapes and sizes and I blend in with my pack. But unlike the many tourists that come only for the final Cerventino Festival weekend, I have been here for nearly a month and I want them to leave.

I spend the afternoon taking a ciesta in my new hostel, Casa Mexicana, I awake to find the clock on the kitchen wall says the same time as it did when I fell asleep. I am late for my coffee/ice cream/spanish conversation date with Julio. I run up the stairs to bar fly (conveniently located next door to my hostel), look out the window and spot him across the street. As I go to run back down the stairs my head hits the low ceiling located at the curve in the stairs, my feet slip, my knee twists, and down I go in writhing pain.

Coffee date turns into 2 shots of tequila for me, a run to the pharmacy for Julio and the only conversation being "me duele la pierna." Dancing plans? Cancelled. I found myself a seat at the bar (around 7pm), and stayed there until 2am when the bar closed early because of a tear gas situation.

Day 38: Farewell my friend

2007-10-18T13:59:00.000-07:00

Death comes and questions everything I believe. Takes my glow and covers it with a rock. Reminds me of my life: what its been, what its seen, and everything its taken for granted. Tears are shed for a being so beautiful and strong with goals and visions farther than the mind can see.

And what was learned from him? It started with communication. Learning to speak with someone who kept so many thoughts and explosions inside, and learning to not speak and communicate with eyes and smiles, and then build a relationship, a trust. And look forward to the daily explosions on politics, apathetic students, moving forward, implementing changes.

And then it moved to learning how to turn passion into action, into voice and change. Taking every moment to make a difference, every opportunity to challenge thoughts, every experience a lesson learned. Using every bit of energy, he devoted himself to a justifiable cause, wrote papers 10 times as long as assigned, and still found time to socialize with friends, laugh, love, and share in the frustration of human kind.

And then I learned the importance of health. The importance of time. In fact, I learned it so well I saved my own health in the process by slowing down. He taught me the importance of peace, of love, of experiencing life and appreciating everything. And he taught me the horrors our actions can have on each other, how we are all connected to the environment.

But most of all, I felt the power of love, strength, and pushing forward. And that will stay with me forever. What a beautiful soul.

Day 37: Recovery, recuperation, rebirth

2007-10-16T17:44:00.000-07:00

I am high. Floating over Guanajuato with a twinkle in my eye and a glowing smile. I feel reborn. After a horrible stomach infection that gave me chills, fever, hallucination, fainting spells, and all the nasty things I don't need to mention, I feel me again. Saturday I didn't think I'd walk again, I felt my soul being drained of all things natural and beautiful. It's amazing how a fresh start can make you mentally, physically, and spiritually renewed.

I am just so happy. Everyone I meet and interact with is beautiful in their own right. Living at the Bar for a week introduced me to an amazing community within this beautiful city. People with energy, and souls that shine. Yes, the exhaustion and hangovers were at times overwhelming, but the floor of cigarette butts and bar smell kind of grows on you. Within one block we had everything we needed: food, family, shelter, Internet, beer, sunshine, and hugs. ¿What more is necessary? ¿Really really necessary? Nothing.

So now I am back in school. My mind is working again. I'm finally learning past tense so I can stop saying sentences like, "Yesterday, I go to Queretaro and am sick." hahaha. Everyone in my classes seems much more fluent than me, but most of the time I am just distracted by my hot teacher. I am staying in a hostel by myself and it feels good to be independent, especially with a bed. I am planning on being here until Friday, but i may stay forever.

However, I hear the seasons are changing back home, the leaves to yellow, burnt orange, red, brown, gone. And it saddens me deep in my soul to know I will miss this organic change yet again. Memories of car rides out to camp with wide eyes and deep breaths rush through me and I yearn for a harvest dinner, to walk through the woods and kick leaves, to hug my mom.

Day 29: A bed at last

2007-10-09T19:56:00.000-07:00

We spent the last 2 night sleeping at the bar. Now as we sit in Yarows tiny room with a bed it really hits me how much I've missed the comfort of having a bed, a room, a place to relax whenever my heart desires. This culture does not pride itself on alone time, privacy, or any of those things I have come accustomed to. I am getting used to it. But living in a bar the last couple of days has been rough. However, knowing that there are people like Yarows, people that are so generous and fun and unique and selfless, has been beautiful.

Days like yesterday, where my stomach is churning inside of me, makes me miss the ability to lay in bed and sip tea, to be surrounded by cleanliness, to take deep breaths and not smell smoke and stale beer. But more than that, it makes me realize how lucky I am to have such wonderful friends who are now my family, and reminds me of how generous and caring the people in this beautiful country are. It also remind me to take better care of myself.

Day 27: Home is where the bar is

2007-10-07T19:35:00.001-07:00

A night of partying was followed by a morning of being homeless. It's the first Saturday of the cervantino festival. Accommodations? None.

We sat on the sidewalk in the plaza with our bags, trying to give the sad forlorn, "we're homeless and pathetic" look to passing by tourists.

At 7pm we decided to head to our bar, "bar fly," thinking maybe if we show up with all our shit people will talk to us, they will realize we are stranded and homeless and offer us a place to stay. If that were to fail, we would take the ride offer back to Queretaro and stay once again with Paulo or one of the many couchsurfers there. After being at the bar for approximately 30 minutes, we had our offer: the bartender said we could stay at the bar.

After the previous night of partying (2 hours of drunken sleep), I was ready to pass out right that very second...however, its' Saturday night, cerventino festival, and we're at the cool alternative younger crowd bar.
So...
the bar closes at 4, by 5 we have literally closed the bar down. I crawl onto a comfy mattress, by night used for bar goers, by morning used for employees and random Kalamazooian travelers, and finally fall to sleep.

Yes, I slept at the bar. Yes, it smelled like the day after a party. And yes, they treated us like the princesses we obviously are.

Day 26: Radiant shift

2007-10-06T11:18:00.000-07:00

A trip for groceries only made it to the liquor store for a pint of tequila. We then arrived at a majestic, beautiful, artistic, gallery of live art. A mixed performance of acting, dancing, and moving from one room to the next in this multi-floored gallery filled me with radiant energy. It was beautiful.

Three hours later I found myself sitting in a bar and wanting nothing more than to dance, to move to the music, transfer my energy through my feet, out my arms and into the energy of my surroundings. By 1am we had finally made it to the dance club, with warm belly's and happy feet. Somehow 1 o'clock turned into 4 o'clock and we were still dancing. After delicious street food (tacos w/ papas, huevos, o frijoles), and trying to back a large van down a steep, curvy driveway while laughing hysterically, we found our beds.

Day 24: Delirious Princess

2007-10-04T15:02:00.000-07:00

Every time I open my journal to write (also used as my Spanish notebook) I see all the Spanish, all the new knowledge, and all the words and structure I have yet to understand. No time to write. Just time to learn, learn, learn. I love to learn, and I can feel myself improving, slowly but surely.

After four hours of class, I find myself wandering through the street, around the same familiar loop. Looking for familiarity: in people, in food, in anything. My dislike for eating alone and my uneasiness for the language often leaves me hungry, weak, and slightly delirious. I find Internet. I try to study, but with no energy comes no brain. I wander the streets again. Find friends, food, and the learning once again continues.

We are currently staying in Marfil, about 20 minutes by bus outside of el Centro de Guanajuato. We sleep on the living room floor of a Ukrainian fashion designer named Aloana. It suits us well. Dinner is usually found through tamale vendors (27 cents/tamale), produce markets, and lunches big enough to keep us filled until manana.

Dia 23: Motivated Itch

2007-10-02T15:31:00.000-07:00

My torso is currently covered in little red bumps that itch, hurt, and make life very uncomfortable. However...

I am having a fantastic time! Yesterday I enrolled in classes and am now a student at Escuela Mexicana. I have four classes (2 grammar, 1 conversation, 1 vocab). The teachers there are all young college students that have a lot of patience for stupid Americans. I have two individuals in my classes that drive me and everyone else up the fucking wall, incidentally, they are both from California, and no, they do not know each other. Traveling in Mexico for three weeks has given me culture shock to Americans. argghhh. I will be studying at least until Friday, and most likely for another week. I've realized that the more I study the shorter my trip becomes ($$$), but it just feels so good to use my brain, to be challenged, and to be able to communicate with people. I believe it has been hibernating for about a year, but it is very excited to be out and about again, especially with the beautiful perfect weather.

Regarding my painful, itchy, torso...I went to see a real doctor yesterday. He put me on a stronger medication and prescribed for me a gel that made my body feel like it was actually burning. So umm...no more gel. But I think I might be getting better...only time will tell.

Day 21: La Musica

2007-10-01T11:07:00.000-07:00

Guanajuato helps me to take deep breaths. The city is booming with people, colors, and change. Although it is all very exciting, I prefer to seek relaxation. The breeze encourages me to lie down and stare at the sky. That, mixed with the antihistamines I'm on which make me drowsy and slightly delirious. Most people who know me, know that in addition to being a princess I am also delicate as a flower. So when the ink from the tattoo made me breakout in hives I was not so much surprised as I was itchy.

While my mind flutters through the clouds, the sound of Amolias violin keeps me grounded. I miss my piano. I miss making music and singing at the top of my lungs. I fear the confidence in my voice that developed shortly before I left will slowly disappear and I may lose my ability all together. I know none of this is true, but there is something creeping beneath my hives, beneath my skin, that wants to explode. It's through my whole body. My feet want to dance, my arms want to squeeze someone, and my head wants to explode.

We arrived here, in Guanajuato, today around 2pm. Tomorrow, I plan on finding a school and starting to study the language. We will be staying in this area for the next month until our amigos arrive. Where exactly? With who? Dunno. I suppose I'll find out soon enough.

Day 16: Churning

2007-09-26T09:40:00.000-07:00

I can't make my lips vibrate like a horse. I've been trying all trip. I might give up soon. Andrea says if I don't believe I can, then I never will. But I really can't. hmmmph.

I got a tattoo today, and the pain was nowhere near the pain I felt last night when my stomach was churning inside itself. By far the worst stomach pain I have ever felt, and I know stomach pain. The cause? No idea. Probably an overdose of dairy, luckily this OD didn't kill me. The good news? I made it back to Paulo's house while his Mom was still awake. She made me tea and toast (which comes as toast in a bag) and her motherly concern. When I woke up the pain had spread to my chest, nothing some stretches and papaya couldn't calm.

(Don't worry Mom, I'll be fine, and the tattoo shop was very sanitary and they explained the procedure very well)

Day 14: Sunday in the center

2007-09-24T09:01:00.000-07:00

Today Queretaro smells like corn tortillas.

I see more happy families in the town center today than I have ever seen at an American zoo, theme park, or parade. Reasoning? I don't know. Maybe it's the size of homes, the dependency or tradition of living with parents until your 27, or simply the culture. Whatever it is, it's beautiful. The children are another beautiful thing. From my observation, they whine less, cry less, and are cute for far longer. Also beautiful? Public transport. Everyone rides the bus, not just those who can't afford to drive. The longest I have had to wait for a bus is 5-10 minutes.

We finished the night watching "the little princess," one of both mine and Paulo's favorites. how wonderful!!!

Day 13: Mi Luna

2007-09-23T11:32:00.000-07:00

A sharp pain in my abdomen, cold sweats and shaking, a desire to throw up from the pain. I rehydrate, drink tequila with potato chips (and hot sauce), take deep breaths, and watch Apocalypto. Soon five people turn into twenty, my head is spinning, I am eating delicious food, and surrounded by the most beautiful, generous family I have ever witnessed.

What happened? A mixture of recovering from a night of partying, having cramps, and hanging out with Paulo's family on a Saturday afternoon. The remainder of the night involved walking around the city center, hearing beautiful music, seeing radiant colors, and trying to breathe enough to take it all in without letting the pain envelope me.

Day 11: Micheladas in Bernal

2007-09-23T10:22:00.000-07:00

We stepped on the city bus with the expectation of arriving at another monument made from rocks in about 25 minutes. Two hours later we arrived at Bernal, not just a monument but an entire city. (I guess I need to pay more attention to all the plans we make...in Spanish?) I never did read or hear to story behind the giant rock in the city of Bernal, but it was pretty sweet. We spent a couple hours walking through the town, eating juicy mango, and beginning to climb up the ginormous rock. However, views of storm clouds nearby sent us back down the rock, through the village, and into a tiny mart for Micheladas. The storm never came, but damn those Micheladas were delicious: Beer with salt, lime, salsa, tomato juice, worchestire, and soy sauce, with chile around the rim. It was an enjoyable day and a slightly ridiculous bus ride home.

Day 9: Absorption

2007-09-19T14:54:00.000-07:00

It is so nice to simply be in the company of such beautiful individuals. Reading stories over coffee, speaking of ideas, goals, and life, and just simply being is enough for me. Whether it be a cafe, a park bench, a mountain; over tea, grass, or dreams and aspirations...It doesn't even matter. The culture here feels so gracious. The colors so full of life. The architecture filled with character and history.

We spent the day looking over the arches, loving company over coffee, learning to make jewelry from Mexican hippies, and celebrating Andrea's existence over wine and cake.

Day 7: El Campo

2007-09-17T15:24:00.000-07:00

After a ten hour bus ride Monterrey to Guanajuato, delicioso Chile Quiles, two and a half hours to Queretaro and 4 shots of tequila, we found Amolia. However, 4 shots turned into 6, water turned into beer, and hugs turned into dancing. Y ahora mi duele en el estomacho.

But today was the most beautiful yet. Fresh fruit y mas Chiles Quiles for breakfast. Music, walking through the cornfield, eating fried chicken y maiz, drinking Pulque y cerveza, watching the sunset behind the mountains. Can't ask for much more.

Day 5: Mexas (mexico or texas)?

2007-09-17T15:20:00.000-07:00

We are leaving Monterrey tonight and headed to Guanajuato (for andreas bag) and Queretaro to see Amolia. I'm really excited. Its been since July, and that girl just lights up my soul.

Our stay here has been good. The city is too big for our style, but the culture is fun. It almost doesn't feel like we're in Mexico. We went to the market today and it was beautiful. Fruit and veggies everywhere! And sellers offering us tastes of cantaloupe. So loud, so exciting. I just stood there glowing. We also went to see the Frieda exhibit, which was...intense.

Day 3: Monterrey

2007-09-17T15:02:00.000-07:00

We arrived at Irais' casa around 8pm on the third day of traveling. It feels good to know we'll be here for a couple days. Fixing a home cooked meal to music which reminds me of intoxicating dance parties with Amo and Andrea. The familiarity feels nice. Also, the taste of food with a temperature is a nice change from the crackers, cookies, and trail mix consumed over 35 hours on a train + 8 hours on a bus.

Irais lives in a house with 4 other recent graduates. It is spacious, and beautiful, with an enormous roof that looks over a football field. Our previous couch surfing host, Marc of San Antonio, Texas, lived in a 1 bedroom apartment which was also beautiful. After the train ride from Chicago to Texas, we took a long exhausted stroll along the River walk, while we waited for Johannas bus to arrive. We spent the rest of the night celebrating with tequila.

I understand more espanol than I had expected. Irais and her roommates speak in spanish because they understand the purpose of our trip. When I start to look too overwhelmed or confused they quickly switch to english on my behalf.